How to Have Hard Conversations

Psychology today estimates that only 7% of human communication takes place through the words we speak. The rest is understood through tone and body language.

So while words are powerful, and should be chosen carefully, perhaps we should focus some of our attention on the other components of our communication.

Our tone of voice and body language are often not conscious choices for us. They are created by the thoughts and feelings we have going on “behind the scenes,” or behind the words that we speak.

The best way to gain awareness of and access to what is going on behind the scenes is to become aware of our own models. (Go back and listen to the last episode if you’re not sure what I’m talking about.)

In this episode we use lots of real life examples to learn how to use the Model to improve your communication.

Three main take-aways:

1. Before having a difficult conversation, do your own work. Get yourself to a place of peace and love, so that those are the emotions coming through in your words, your tone and your body language.

2. Stay curious. Try to understand what may be going on in the other person’s model. Assume the best and don’t rush to take things personally.

3. Remember- the words they say always go in your circumstance line. They are not good nor bad until you make them mean something. THIS IS WHERE YOUR POWER IS!

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