When one of my sons turned 13, he changed almost overnight from a happy, easy-going kid to a rage monster. Seriously… he was so angry all the time!
My first reaction was always to yell back at him, or to tell him how unacceptable his behavior was. I often wanted to “forbid” him from acting that way in our home.
But the problem wasn’t actually his behavior. That was just an outward symptom of the problem.
Underneath all of the rage and the meanness was a kid who was suddenly flooded with testosterone. He had all kinds of new and powerful things going on inside him, and he had no idea how to handle them.
He didn’t need his mother to rage back at him or discipline him. He needed a mother to offer some grace. To recognize his struggle and offer some compassion.
After all, I know what it’s like to experience intense emotions. I’ve had to practice offering grace to myself when I don’t handle things well. I can definitely do the same for him.
If you can look past your teen’s “bad behavior,” and into their heart, you will find that their actions usually make sense.
You will be in a better place to offer grace and connect with them on a deeper level.
