Think about how you talk to your little ones when they are learning something new, like learning to swim. “Good job! I can see you trying so hard! You’re so strong.. you’ll get it! I’m so proud of you!”
Now think about how you talk to yourself when you are learning something, like how to be a mom. Or how to have more patience. Or how to balance all the things you have going on. “What is wrong with me? I’m not making any progress. Everyone else seems to be doing this better than me.”
What if we talked to our kids the way we talked to ourselves? We would squash the confidence and the love of life right out of them! That would be so sad!
Everybody responds better to praise and encouragement than they do to criticism. That includes YOU! Why do we think we are going improve by beating ourselves up? That harsh voice inside our heads is likely to squash the confidence and love of life right out of us!
I had a client that came up with the best analogy. She described it this way:
“I think of it like the swimming portion of a triathlon. You have to get in that cold water. You have to swim it, regardless of the weather. If the weather is cold and rainy, the swimming portion is miserable! If the weather is warm and sunny, the swim is still hard… but much more enjoyable.”
Life is going to be hard. We’re going to live it anyway. Living it under the weight of self condemnation and criticism is like swimming on a cold, rainy day. Miserable!
Choosing to love and accept ourselves is like swimming on a warm, sunny day. It can still be difficult, and cause us to stretch and grow, but it’s so much more pleasant in the warmth of the sun!
And most likely… if we’re swimming in the sun, our triathlon time will be better. If we are living life, enjoying the “sunshine” of loving ourselves, we will actually progress so much faster!
So today, make a conscious effort to be just as encouraging and positive with yourself as you would with your precious child. You’re going to be “swimming” anyway. Allow yourself to swim in the sun!
Christi
